What Makes Personal Statement Introductions Boring

Filed under graduate admission essay writing tips, April 4th, 2010 by Graduate Admissions Assistant

The introduction is one of the most important parts of any admission essay. This is because the intro has a strong influence on how the admissions panel will think about your essay. Knewton has some interesting things to say about your personal statement’s introduction.

Repeating the question is a boring personal statement intro

Accepted editors discussed a client’s response to the question, “How have you experienced culture shock?” The applicant began her response with “I experienced culture shock when” How many applicants responding to this question start similarly? Too many. However, if the applicant from the first word contrasted the culture she comes from with the one that engendered the shock, she would be immediately painting a picture of the situation, differentiating herself from her competition, and making maximal use of each word in an essay with a tight word count.

This is a good tip on how to be creative by starting your essay with a scene or an anecdote. Repeating the questions seems like a grade schooler’s essay writing style, so better look for a more effective approach. Make sure that you hook the readers right from the beginning.

Cliche opening

Another common opening: “I want to be a lawyer because” or “I was born in” or “I come from” Start with an opening that portrays your vision for the future, reveals your preparation for your chosen path, or depicts an illustrative and impressive experience from your background. Then swing back and tie this opening to your desire for a legal education or the theme of your personal statement.

Admission essay readers are looking for something fresh, inspiring, and interesting. Cliches only make your essay less creative and half-heartedly written, without much enthusiasm or creativity coming from you.

According to this excerpt from another article:

Your introduction conveys a lot of information to your readers. You can let them know what your topic is why it is important and how you plan to proceed with your discussion. It should contain a thesis that will assert your main argument. It will also ideally give the reader a sense of the kinds of information you will use to make that argument and the general organization of the paragraphs and pages that will follow. After reading your introduction your readers should not have any major surprises in store when they read the main body of your paper.

You have to be consistent until the end of your essay. You should also work on your body and conclusion and write them with the same quality as your introduction.

Your personal statement introduction must be creative and interesting. You have to ensure that your intro is not just paraphrasing the question. It will also do you well if you avoid openings that are cliches.

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